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Thursday, September 30, 2010

Why am I Teaching? It was about...

I sometimes ask myself why I would choose this over a reliable career. I know others do it behind my back so I might as well answer it.

I don't teach fencing for fencing's sake. I believe that if I was motivated to just teach fencing, then I would be somewhere else or possibly studying for a year in Hungary or New York. No I teach fencing because I see in every student the potential to have what me and all my old fencing friends had 10 years ago. It wasn't about the medals, the strip, what weapon you fence, or any of the rest of that garbage.

It was about meeting people. It was about laughing so hard you cried in the back of a car. It was about flirting with fencing chicks knowing you weren't going to get anywhere. It was about sneaking out of a hotel room @ midnight trying to find something to do. It was about learning how to throw hotel key cards across the venue, and then playing catch with them. It was about sledding down a hill in your warmups after a bad tournament. It was about gorging yourself at a restaurant after a tournament. It was about mocking the high school teams and their stupid pre-tournament chants. It was about cheering on the last guy from your club who was still in a major tournament (or being the last guy). It was about every stupid memory that you make at a tournament, because 10 years from now, you are unlikely to remember results even if askFred does.

The Inability to Rely on Regional Growth

Clubs have to built from the ground up. If the region sputters & dies or grows and flourishes, MFA has to continue a steady build in membership, skill development, & infrastructure building. I think the overall trick is to attend tournaments in parts of the region undergoing growth & avoid the tournaments in parts of the region that are dying off.

I did an earlier post similar to this that discussed the merits of each part of the Inland Empire. Not enough time has passed to see any part of the region change in a noticeable fashion, & I tend to talk up MFA because I can see it growing slowly. We badly need more dedicated foilists and epeeists at the club, as we are currently a saber club in all but name. We've had one student compete in Epee, and that is an excellent start, but in the long term he may be the only one still doing it.

Growth takes so long to achieve in a fencing club. It is hard to predict just how students will grow, and how long it takes for them to understand key concepts. But during the growth phase of a young fencer, they need friends more than anything else. Friends give them more of a reason to come down, hang out, & continue fencing.

What holds a club together is not a coach, but the students. If you have the opportunity to have a social environment outside of school with people who haven't been going to school with you since you were little, it becomes more appealing. I hated school growing up, and would have been a very different person without fencing in my life. It provided me with a way to forget about having no friends in early high school and just have a bunch of fencing buddies. I saw them more often than I interacted with other jerks in English, so it made sense. I also started to get more friends at school because I was no longer desperate to have them. I was already considered cool by a few people at my club, what did I care if nobody at school liked me? In short, fencing gave me more confidence than any other activity growing up.

This club atmosphere is not impacted by how many fencers are in Hamilton. I am trying to create this atmosphere for Missoula, and everyone else can go fly a kite. The hardest thing I will someday have to endure is saying goodbye to a student going off to college or moving away. I remember watching Rich say goodbye to me and a few other accomplished students, it wasn't pretty. The year after he said goodbye to the last of a group of 10 of us who were known to wreck face across the midwest. It was hard, but he's still kicking and producing murderers.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Pretournament Jitters

I may be a small portion of the populace, but whenever I compete my stomach essentially boils & knots up. I adopt a nervous and angry countenance & avoid eye contact. Oh sure I respond to stimuli, but only in a very clipped fashion. I actually prefer my competitions to be filled with people who don't want to talk to me or interact with me in any way until forced to on the strip. Because I've been this nervous wreck at competitions for so long, I've decided that instead of fighting it, I would just use it. This acceptance has some weird effects on my overall psyche, such as relaxation, acceptance, and usually, better fencing. It also has the potential to make me a poor sport, but I've been down that road and try to avoid it as best I can.

In the words of Malcolm Reynolds: "When I start fighting a war, you'll see something new."

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ebay, and Sifting through the Garbage

Ebay can be the source of many good things. Chris got a Leon Paul Epee for an absurdly reduced price. I watched an entire competitive set of saber gear minus the mask go for under a $100.

Then their are the vendors who put their garbage on Ebay to make it look nice. Physical Chess, Blue Gauntlet, the zombie company that calls itself Uhlmann that used to make good gear but has since moved to China. It stinks that I have to sift through all that but I have found a fairly efficient method.

Instead of typing "fencing equipment" in the search box, I type in "Leon Paul Fencing," or "PBT fencing" or any other company tag I want attached that other people are selling, but not Physical Chess garbage.

An Ideal Summer

This summer was awesome. The club is doing well in it's first month of operation and fencing in Missoula continues to flourish.

An Ideal summer next year would include the following: Go to Summer Nats, take a week out to go teach a camp in Seattle, take another week to head back to Minneapolis and fence at MSC, teach a camp or two here in Missoula, teach a camp up in Helena, take a giant country spanning road trip to catch an MLS game & possible fencing tournament in a different city each weekend, & take a non-fencing related road trip.

I am realistic, I don't think half of those will actually happen, but I would like to make one of them happen.

Burning the Novice Event & Pretty Warmup Pictures with Students.

I have to define a special Inland Empire tradition that is thankfully going the way of the dodo. Novice foil was the primary way to induct new fencers into competition throughout Montana & Eastern Washington. I really dislike novice foil for several reasons and it took a lot of work to get rid of it.

First I would like to give credit where credit was due, and oddly enough I am attributing the death of Novice foil to the USFA. They have a new policy where someone can buy a day membership to fence in a tournament. Novice foil ran outside the bounds of USFA, which means we had no insurance in case of injury, and people didn't have to wear knickers. It was convenient for people who weren't sure whether they liked fencing or not.

Second, I would like to point out the overall opinion of Novice foil in the hearts and minds of the people who supported it. It was mostly the good old boy network that really dug the idea of Novice foil, because they got to call the fencers in the bracket 'novices,' allowing themselves full privilege to lord their rank as full fencers over someone else. It was almost like a pathetic hazing ritual that most fencers had to go through.

Third, the DEs were only to 10 touches like a veterans event. Now, I'm not that old yet and don't know what it is like to fence for 15 touches while I am 40, so I'll give the vets bracket the benefit of the doubt right now. Speaking as a 25 year old runner in reference to Novice, suck it up and fence to 15.

Fourth, Novice foil only represents one blade. The only time we ever ran Novice for any of the other blades was last year. We are also the only ones besides Spokane who ran a novice bracket in anything besides foil. Speaking as a coach who stricly adheres to the philosophy that incoming fencing students should fence the blade(s) that they like the most, I think novice foil is unfair to 2/3 of all the possible competitors.

It came from the idea that foil is the 'base blade,' whatever that means. I still haven't heard a decent reason for why Missoula used to force students to learn foil before 'going on' to any of the other weapons. I know with complete certainty that I would never have fenced if I was forced into that situation. I also know that a few of the newer fencers would have bailed out too if the status quo wasn't changed.

In short, Novice events are no longer being organized in Missoula.

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for... Warm up photos!




I am now out of backposts

So I guess it's time for a blogging day. These days are lots of fun, at least for me, because I get to type like crazy today and let the next few days slide.

The tournament in Missoula was pretty small even by Inland Empire standards. We did manage to hand out 2 E's to the same person and I was very impressed by my students' performance in saber. 2 more medals were handed out to MFA fencers which brings our total tally to 3. Chris finally has a student competing, and he did very well yesterday for his first tournament.

It was a ton of fun to watch my students execute an explosive attack against an opponent, and more than a little terrifying. If they can latch on to that confidence and energy, bouts can be won on physical power alone. Most of the bouts that were lost stemmed from a losing mental battle. ALL of my students were up by at least two points at the break in the bouts they were knocked out, but compensation for the opponent's adaptation never happened. They were also brilliant in pools, with the top two seeds being MFA fencers.

Honestly the results make me very happy. The course of events showed that inexperience is the major disadvantage my students still suffer from. Thankfully that is the easiest disadvantage to fix. I saw such good technique and willingness to fight for each touch.

Photos of warm-ups in tomorrow's post. You are going to love them.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Warm ups, ENTHUSIASM, & the Leon Auriol

So coach warm ups theoretically arrive today. They will likely become available to the whole club next year around this time, and their will be photographs. I wanted the warm ups because we are going around to schools and I want to present as professional a manner as I can to prospective students. I have no idea where my old MSC ones went off to, so I will feel good wrapped in club colors again.

Despite operational costs this month, I'm keeping up my enthusiasm as best I can. I am still leaking money like a sieve but I am at least starting to pull in more than I am spending. We have enough kids to run an intro class next month and hopefully a few of those kids will stick around for longer. I'll definitely ask a few students who were unsure of private lessons to step up as they seem eager to dedicate a bit more of their time to fencing.

I look forward to the Leon Auriol next weekend. I am hoping for a decent result, as I am *ahem* in the best shape of my life right now.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

So, Fencing is a Real Sport...

I observe this reaction in people whenever I tell them I am a part time fencing coach. They think I am some weird guy who plays D&D all day in a basement & occasionally comes to the surface to teach other nerds my methods of mastery over nerdom.

This isn't entirely true. When I instruct someone how to fence, I instruct them how to fence. I could care less if they are nerdy, gangsta, corporate, redneck, none of that crap matters. We don't just stand there hitting eachother's weapons pretending to be swashbucklers in a bad movie, we move around much more than most people think.

I don't know where this stereotype of the awful fencing instructor comes from, but I have been trying to abolish it for the last two years. I pride myself on being in good physical condition and not wheezing after I teach/do footwork. I look to my students to be in good enough physical condition not to be wheezing after footwork. Conditioning is terribly important to this sport as it is a physical activity.

It is also important to drill basics even when you've been fencing for many years. It's called basic technique, and if you don't use it you lose it.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

When it Comes to Teaching...

Intro classes are always a weird mental situation. You want to pull in as many new people as you can without watering that same sample with people who you know to be worthless long term. What I mean by worthless is someone who isn't really that into it and will never really progress. I want to be able to grab the random athlete who does one or two sports and get him into fencing.

The nerds in an intro group may stick around for years just so they can tell their friends that they fence. I have no problem attracting these kids because they pay the bills. As my Dad says "Every dojo needs its share of Orcs."

This is why I try to focus on the athletic and mental aspects of the sport rather than the "Look, a sword!" side of it. People can respect the benefits of fencing without nerding out about it. The link is to a much larger and interesting lecture where the speaker makes some amazing observations about what it means to "nerd out." If you have a free 2 hours to spend online, the whole thing is totally worth watching.

Regardless of what kind of intro class I am teaching, some kids will want to continue and others will not no matter how hard I try. That's okay because I don't want those 'other' kids to continue anyway. They would drag down the progress of others in their own journey out of fencing. I don't like to admit that because it means that I have to let some things slide in a world that I idealistically envision with more fencers.

Tournament in Missoula this Weekend; October

Missoula kicks off our first tournament @ 8:30 am on September 25th. The Fred Preregs are pretty low, but not significantly below average Inland Empire attendance. I'm glad my students are attending because it is a nice easy warm-up to the Leon Auriol.

I'm looking forward to the Zombie Invitational in October as it will be a much larger tournament if initial "oh yeah we're going!"'s can be believed. If you fence saber in our section, then you have to come out for the zombie saber event. It is one touch, head only Saber with normal right of way, bouts drawn from a hat. Last year's event was amazingly fun, and best of all, it's FREE! I believe we're handing out the DVD Zombieland for first prize this year. So come on down!

Plans are in the works for me to head for the Battle in Seattle in late January and stay and vacation for a few days afterward. I might take a few people with me too depending on the circumstances.

Friday, September 17, 2010

A Conglomeration of Half Posts & Ideas

I am currently not in a learning plateau. I am happy with my speed changes, distance, and timing. Some things can be fixed, while others are fine. For the entire first half of this year I was stuck in a plateau, so I feel entitled to a little satisfaction.

It's also nice to see students getting touches they historically wouldn't when fencing me, which means I am doing my job right. I've also noticed that the less experience that you have, the shorter your plateaus are. That certainly can't be a universal truth, but it seems to apply in most cases. Oh, and I want shorter plateaus.

I'm heading to Seattle with two students of mine in two weeks. I am excited and more than a little nervous. This will be their first tournament outside of the Inland Empire and it will not have the same vibe. They will also be the first students from MFA to attend a tournament of this caliber, and hopefully the first of many to make the leap.

I'm doing a volunteer intro class for some boy scouts this week and we already have 2 of the 6 signed up for an intro class. I decided that since we already grabbed 1/3 of that number to pass the class off to Chris for some Epee, and I will take over his Y10 class tonight. He was thinking of doing Saber anyway, so I figured we might as well switch.

We're gearing up to go to schools this next month and begin doing intros. I completed a powerpoint presentation to help enhance our ability to present uniform ideas. I would post it here for you to review, but I'm not that internet savvy. I got some ideas from Erik, one of the Bozeman fencers for advice about how to do an intro, and he was full of good ideas.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Grand Tour




This is an idea with less sense and more idealism. One of my long term goals for Missoula is to have enough people fencing to pile into 3-4 cars and take off in a predetermined direction, hitting every tournament/club along the way. One year we'll swing to the east coast via the Midwest, stop in Minneapolis and fence for a day or two. Then head east where tournaments become more and more dense. Next year we would hit the entire west coast. Fencing up and down California in a giant road trip. Then maybe we would go through the deep south, and then start the cycle over agiain the year after that.

This is inspired by my urge to have the fencing community be far more tightly knit, and to increase our overall capacity to network. If we have friends in every major city in the continental U.S., lodging for NACs would be incredibly cheap. It also increases the chance that passing fencers may stop in and fence with us for a night, increasing our exposure to outside talent.

Out here, we are fairly isolated. I enjoy the isolation for the most part, but I would like to make the fencing community psychologically tighter even if we can't physically be closer. Plus I have the feeling that random clubs wouldn't mind having a bunch of fencers from a region they never get to interact with show up one random Tuesday night. We used to have a few Californians show up in Minneapolis once a year and fence us for a while. I always enjoyed the exposure to outside skill sets and different ways of doing things.

This is certainly more of a dream than anything else right now. But someday, I will be spending my supposed vacation in a car full of fencers heading to a club near you.

Missoula High School League ideas

I am currently trying to piece together a decent league format for high school fencing tournaments in the Missoula area. Here are the main selling points in their rough draft:

-League participation is free. Any high school student can jump on for $10 per event, but there is no all encompassing fee for the league. I think this is a good idea because I want parents spending money on attending club practice and buying gear.
-Non-USFA sanctioned. This is mostly what I mean by league participation being free. We are going to follow USFA tournament format to the letter, and after a year I will start to encourage competitive kids to pick up their USFA and go compete in Inland Empire tournaments
-Each High School hosts two tournaments a semester. One tournament is a team tournament, and the other will be an individual tournament. Team tournaments may take all weekend with individuals taking only Saturday.
-Rotating high school cup. One cup will be for team events and the other for individual. This trophy will be awarded to whatever team does the best over a season, probably using AskFred's pointslist for something other than ego inflation.

To facilitate growth in this region of Missoula fencing, I will try to volunteer 2 hours out of a weekday per school to come down and run some practice. Unless one of the other coaches finds time to do the same, these schools will likely be comprised of saber teams with a few super dedicated foilists and epeeists. Not because I am biased, but I am not going to fool myself into thinking I can teach the other two weapons.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Practice Etiquette

Two posts ago I discussed tournament etiquette in the most passing of terms. I did this because it isn't as important as how you practice.

I used to think that all fencers conducted themselves the same in practice. Show up a little early, do footwork for about half an hour, do some drills for another half hour, then fence for the next 2 hours straight. In one way or another I thought that most fencers would consider this a decent practice regimen. There are some days that are just open fencing while other days may be more focused on bladework or conditioning, & I by no means think that my way is a perfect method.

What I don't understand is fencers who think that a good 5 minutes of footwork, 10 minutes of parry drills and 20 minutes of actual fencing in a 2 hour period is more than sufficient to keep up fencing skills and improve. To improve, fencing someone for the next 50 touches is a great way to grind out frustration and learn to fence when you are exhausted. It is also an excellent way to try new tricks over the long term. Realistically, fencing for less than an hour offers little in the way of growth unless you are fencing at the New York Athletic Club or any other big name Salle. You learn to fence by being able to fence until you can barely stand, not this weak "I'm kind of tired, I need to stop" drek.

That being said, I am as guilty as the next fencer of stopping and having a conversation with 3 or 4 other fencers, forming what I call a Conversation Circle of Worthlessness. This circle can expand to encompass an entire practice floor of fencers if none of them are vigilant. Join me in my crusade to abolish Conversation Circles. They are bad for fencing, and they are bad for you!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Tournament Etiquette

How you compose yourself at a tournament is incredibly important. Local affairs are fairly nonserious and you may behave however you like. NACs, large tournaments in a city, and summer nats are a completely different affair. At those tournaments you can only express yourself when shopping for new equipment. Otherwise, you are limited to incredibly clipped and awkward conversations with people who would otherwise be your friend. The tension turns your bowels to water and the pressure is immense. Here is what I do at a tournament to relieve tension.

I hook up before my opponent every time I am on strip. I look at the order on the director's bout sheet and listen intently for my name or number and I am on strip as the final halt is called for the last bout, taking the cord from the last fencer. I then hook up at max, MAX, 20 seconds. I am then standing there, holding my mask and saber, waiting for the other guy to get hooked up. If he starts to fumble, I smile on the inside. If he starts to have trouble hooking up and the director looks subtly annoyed, I know I've got this guy.

I wear my knickers from the moment I wake up that morning to moment I stop fencing. This initially fails to relieve tension and in fact piles it on when I wake up. As the day wears on I adapt to the stress and relax a bit.

I eat almost nothing until I am done fencing. I know this is bad practice, but I feel it works somehow, and that is what's most important.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The fencing road trip




The fencing road trip is an important part of competition. It is often more fun and interesting than the tournament itself (depending on the tournament). I probably wouldn't have continued fencing were it not for the ability to be crammed in a car with 4-5 other people who are just as normal as I am.

The awesome thing about the road trip & fencing is that it is a universal experience among fencers. Anyone who lives in an area where fencing is big is required to get into the car at some point and travel to a venue 4 hours away with everyone else. Carpooling is not only a great way to bond with fellow members of your club, but it is resource efficient.

As a teenager, the road trip is even more fun because you are twice as stupid (no offense, it is a fact of life. Enjoy being that dumb while you are, it's a good time). You might wander around at night near the hotel looking for things to do. You might make friends at the venue and invent new games of chicken that involve throwing hotel room key cards at eachother at max strength. You might stop at a gas station and purchase several $1 plastic Uzis that fire small bits of plastic, resulting in a car that looked like it played toilet to several multicolored rats. You might play Tekken Tag for 6 hours on the way back from Menemonie, WI.

Body odor contests are truly a thing of wonder. How you play:
Everyone in the car takes off their shirt after fencing all day. It must be winter, and the windows preferably down (to stir the mixture). The first person to put their shirt back on loses the contest.

Other Fun Road Trip Games

Wet Jacket fight
You have a wet jacket after fencing all day, do you leave it to sit and ferment in your bag until it someday smells like AJ's? Heck no! Whip that thing out of the bag, or sneak it out in another stealthy container, and chuck it at the next person to say something that offends you on the way home. They will be covered in your sweat and tears of that day. The fight results when someone returns fire.

Glove in the face
Sneaking your glove into the car is usually pretty easy. However, just because it is small does not mean it doesn't smell terrible.

Backseat Alchemy
Stop at the next gas station, purchase the soda with the highest caffeine content and a bag of skittles. Drink a bit of the soda, then mix skittles into the bottle. Wait until all the coloration has worn off the skittles (which it will if you bought the right soda), they will look like white pills. Then drink the mixture as fast as you can. Watch as parents pull the tranq gun from under the seat to neutralize the psychotic protohuman in their backseat who is now eating the backseat.

The Surprise Game
People are farting in an enclosed space. We all know this to be a fact of life. But somehow, it gains the same sort of conversational immunity that politics, religion, & wars enjoys. The reason we can't discuss road trip farts is because they are embarrassing for everyone in the car. Sometimes you get a car full of people who refuse to admit that they fart. Sometimes you get the person who really didn't fart, but has to say something. This inevitably leads to the entire car accusing the accuser of farting. Other times you get the person who farts and blames someone else. Either way, our culture has obviously failed to deal with the car fart properly.

So a few friends of mine invented the surprise game. Whenever you fart, you say 'surprise.' If you fart, and fail to say 'surprise,' and someone else says 'expected,' they may hit you in the shoulder no less than 4 times. You might be thinking, "How does the person who says 'expected' know who farted?" The simple answer is that he doesn't. He now has the power to punch anyone in the shoulder. This inevitably leads to discussion over who dealt it and an uneasy detente between all members of the car.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Ratings Inflation and U, an Inland Empire Story. Or the One Post that will cause AJ to lose friends.

Ratings inflation in fencing is one of the more touchy topics of conversation. There are a few of us out there who did not earn their rating at a legitimately difficult tournament, or earned a high one early on in a joke of a tournament. Those fencers usually dislike discussing ratings inflation because they are a result of it.

You might be saying "Why are you stepping in this now? Nothing good is going to come of it." I have a reason for discussing this as it is important to the future of fencing in the Inland Empire. It has come up recently at UMFC and MFA club discourse that Spokane has several 'suspiciously' high ranked epeeists. I, for the record, disagree for a few reasons.

The first reason has to be explained a bit. Ratings do not mean the same in all parts of the country. An "A" ranked Epeeist in Seattle is not always similar in skill level to an "A" ranked Epeeist from New York. The same is true for Saber & Foil, I am just using Epee as an example because it is easily the most inflated for the division and indeed the entire section. This being said, there are plenty of legitimate terrifying Epee fencers in Seattle who wreck people on a national scale.

First reason: Epee is already grossly overinflated in our section
Second reason: The fencers in Spokane are NOT worse than their respective ratings given the overall abundance of their rating in the division. If we're going to point to Spokane and accuse them of diminishing the respect of a rating, then we are going to have to accuse Seattle fencers of coming over to Spokane and intentionally losing so that more ratings could be handed out to fencers in the Inland Empire. Which of course leads to more of our own homebrew tournaments passing out ratings to people who might not deserve them

I dare someone to make that accusation, because I do not have good enough evidence to make that claim. Nor do I believe in the veracity of such a statement.

Further, I would like to make an argument in support of ratings inflation. For a division as small as ours, having higher rated individuals prereg for an event may result in fencers traveling here from further away in the hopes of winning a rating. In other words, ratings inflation can grow the entire division merely by making it look good. If this weekend yields 3 extra C Epeeists in Missoula, it will signify the first time 3 Cs ever lived in Missoula at the same time. It will also mean that our Epee tournaments hold more steam and appeal for outsiders to swing on in and try their luck at a rating.

But I can hear some idealists saying "People are not interested in attending a tournament they know to be inflated. Just because you don't care that you're rating is way higher than it should be doesn't mean nobody does."

First, I could care less how idealistic you think other people are. People from Utah cal and ask if we actually plan to hand out ratings at our next tournament. They don't care where their skills are at, they want that A or B behind their name.

Some of us understand that ratings mean absolutely nothing. But many people subscribe to the belief that since so-and-so is rated, or highly rated, they know a lot about fencing. I want to provide those people with an outlet to express their beliefs in a way that benefits my direct goals of growing the division.

In Spokane this weekend.

I've decided after much internal debate to go to Spokane this Saturday. Possibly dragging Jesse and my younger students with me. It is a small turnout for Saber, but a fresh one filled with a few people who I haven't fenced before, and I would like to encourage them to pop over to Missoula occasionally for our tournaments. It looks as thought Epee will turn out to be a B1 event, which always makes me happy to see in this division. Foil is looking like a C1, which is another strong showing at an Inland Empire tournament, but it seems that Saber just fails to break the E1 mark. This is temporary of course, as D1 Saber tournaments in Missoula are not far off by my observations. I hope the first one we have in September magically breaks that barrier and we can start passing out some ratings.

It is always pleasant to go to a Spokane tournament because we can drive there and back in one day. The awesome part is that we drive through a time zone going west, so technically we arrive two hours after we leave Missoula.

The weird part is the return journey. You feel as though you get caught in some time warp traveling through the 3 mountain passes in the dark. Instead of the two hour drive you convinced yourself was a reality that morning, you are stuck with the prospect of arriving 4 hours after you left. Around 3 hours into the drive, you start to get twitchy and weird. You wonder where the evil overlords of geography have placed Missoula while you have been away. Surely you passed a sign that read Missoula 34, you recall it distinctly. Then I get thirsty. I get stupid thirsty on my return trip from Spokane for some reason. No other tournament makes me crave the sweet taste of two Hydrogen molecules and one Oxygen molecule in plethora quantities. Most people who have carpooled with me to Spokane are familiar with my strange drinking habits on the way home. I will drink all of the remaining water in the car, and then beg to stop at the next station so that I can buy a gallon jug of water. I will then down half to 3/4 of that. What's weirder is that I always adequately hydrate at a tournament regardless of where I am, but Spokane just saps the water out.

Screaming

In fencing there is this... ritual that some of us participate in after a touch. It is called the scream, and everybody does it differently. There are a few categories that screams fit into. Let's study them now:

Blood Curdling
Everyone hates fencers who do this scream. Fencers who routinely do this scream can be heard commenting on a fellow blood curdling screamer, that they hate that person. It also the most common scream among female fencers and the most annoying. I will show you what I mean:
Here
That made me want to vomit

The Stutter
This is done by fencers who are usually looking to piss off the other fencer while trying to sound cool. It of usually fails, the other fencer could care less what goofy Lemur mating calls you manage to generate with your mouth. It is as annoying as the Blood Curdling, but not as hard on your hearing:
Here

The Exaggerated Grunt
Short, clipped and the most tolerable of fencing screams due largely to brevity. He gets the touch, lets you know how awesome he is with a high volume grunt that brings stained knickers to mind.
Here

But some people manage to separate themselves from the riff raff of screamers. These people are true artists in the practice of being a jerk. This next guy is my favorite out of any scream I have ever heard. Listen to how the entire venue wants to bear down on him and silence this horrendous noise once and for all. Listen for the subtle changes in each scream, showing that this moron actually practiced screaming in his club, meaning his teammates must hate him too. He even has a finishing scream where he rips off his mask, drops it to the floor, turns to the referee and belches out another highly creative and offensive sound. This all while raising his hands to the heavens as though begging for salvation.

But really, despite all the hate I'm dishing out, I am just as guilty as the rest. I try hard to hold it in, but sometimes I am just as weak. Especially in the sample I posted, my technique looks awful, and that's usually when I turn to the battle of volume. If the opposing person screams, I am almost obliged to show that I can outroar someone. Bit by bit, I am training myself out of this, but it takes time. For the record, my form is far less jerky these days. I had just started fencing again that summer after a long hiatus.

Set a course for sector 001...Engage!

So the Intro class may actually happen if Laura conjures up another miracle (which is an all too common occurrence).

I purchased an organizer last week and have been using it ever since. This action is apparently aberrant behavior at the best of times, as most people ask me "What are you 13?" Because most people still equate an organizer from the days when they were 13 and schools gave you one that you had to keep track of so that the teacher could grade you on your ability to organize.

I tended to pepper my organizer with inappropriate profanity at funny moments, make terrible notes about my fellow classmates, and fill it with other inane garbage that probably only reinforced the teacher's vision of me as a complete loser. I did those things because I tend to oppose structure being imposed on my life. I don't mind supplying the structure myself, but that's different than someone else supplying me with a small booklet that supposedly holds my schedule for the rest of the year THAT I MUST ADHERE TO.

I view my newest organizer in a more positive fashion. I read the directions to the organizer before I started using it (I know, that's nerdy even for me). I immediately plunked down events for that week. Then I plunked down events for next week. I started viciously organizing October. I leered aggressively at November but decided that it was too far in advance to do any real planning. I had an event on December 31 2010 that I could have easily imprisoned in my organizer, but decided that it would be rude.

My new organizer tracks stray, wayward events and appointments like any good panopticon. Only the truly esoteric and intelligent events escape the watchful eye of the Organizer Overseer. Even now, it is being spelled with capital letters, empowering itself.

Gee AJ, what are you doing today?
I have 2 private lessons today, and a possible intro class after that. No, don't ask me 'what time?' because some information is better kept from the proletariat. These events will occur when they occur, not before or after in accordance with the Directives of the Patrician and High Council.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Opening Night & an Internal Ranking System

Tonight is the first official night of operation. The 9 & under class is beginning tonight with tomorrow being the first club night. I already have curriculum set up for the homeschool class I am teaching on Friday from 1:30-3:00 and material laid out for the club. This is a huge first step into the unknown, and I am definitely giddy with excitement.

Our intro classes are sadly empty, but this was to be expected for the first month. No demos are scheduled as of yet, but after those I can only see club membership expanding & the intro classes will start to see filler.

I wrote up a ranking system last week which I hope will be approved by the remainder of the club tonight at the meeting. It goes as follows:

Yelllow bar- Beginner skill base
Red bar- Intermediate skill base
Black bar- Advanced skill base
Club Logo- Signifies Theoretical mastery
ARMORER- Signifies that the student is either a certified armorer or is knowledgeable enough in repair that they deserve this patch.
DIRECTOR- Signifies that the student is a rated referee with USFA
VARSITY- Signifies a student involved with the local high school league
CAPTAIN- Signifies a student that has captained with either the club or their respective high school at a competition. In addition, the student must also routinely provide leadership to their teammates on and off the strip.
ASS. COACH- Signifies a student that is capable of offering private lessons to Yellow bar students. Requires a club logo patch, an endorsement from the head coach, and that they pass an exam administered by the head coach. The lesson fee is limited to $10. This patch is removed after the student passes the student coaching exam. Required experience: 1 year of high school league fencing
ST. COACH (Student Coach)- Signifies a student that is capable of offering private lessons to students up to a Red bar, and teaching the minis class. Requires a club logo patch, an endorsement from their coach, and that they pass an exam administered by the head coach. This patch is removed when the next rank is received. The lesson fee is limited to $10. Required experience: 1 year of USFA tournament experience having fenced two C1 events or better
COACH- Signifies an experienced student capable of teaching private lessons to students up to Black Bar, intro classes, mini classes, & outreach. Requires a club logo patch, an endorsement from the head coach, and that they pass an exam administered by the head coach. This patch is removed when the final coach rank is received. The lesson fee is limited to $15. Required experience: 3 years of USFA tournament experience with a national rating of C or better.
HEAD COACH: Only 3 members of MFA may hold the rank of Head Coach at any given time (one for each blade) and can only be given from a prior head coach to another coach who has been fencing for at least 6 years and rated a B. One final written exam will be administered by the former head coach


All of these would represent bars either sewn on the off arm of the jacket, off leg of the knickers, the arms of their warmups, or all three. The Yellow-Club Logo would be on the off arm of the jacket preferrably.

An overview of the ranks and their relative difficulty follows below:

Yellow bar- relatively easy: Most students who have been fencing for a year plus will likely earn this bar within the first month if not the first week. Most of the already more advanced students would earn this bar if they tried to test in one day.
Red bar- more difficult: Most students who have been fencing for a year or more will likely test into this within a month. Most of the more advanced students will test into it within a week, with an exceptional few testing into it in one day
Black Bar- Incredibly hard: Nobody will test into this in one day let alone in one month. It will require a test bout with a closely matched student at the club in addition to skill tests. This bar would be challenging for me to achieve without practicing for it for a week. I want this bar to mean something to whoever earns it, possibly meaning more than the club logo.
Club Logo- Incredibly hard: If the Black bar is hard, this will be worse. It will require two test bouts as practicals (one to 5 & one to 15) in which the student will fence their instructor. In addition their will be a written exam in which the fencer is asked essay & multiple choice questions on certain situations, theoretical concepts, & character questions.
Armorer- Difficult without certs: If a student ever gains a reputation for a fix-it wizard, reliable repairs, & innovation, then they should receive this patch.
Director- Fairly difficult: Only awarded to students who have a rating 10 in at least one blade as a director.
Varsity- Easy: All the student need do is participate in a full season of high school league fencing in Missoula
Captain- Difficult: A student has to routinely captain for either the club or his high school at league tournaments for an entire season. In addition, he must also show quality of character, positive motivation of teammates, & sportsmanship. Should probably accompanied by a small gift certificate or other award outside of fencing.
Assistant Coach- Difficult: In addition to the fencer's normal routine, he will have to undergo several tests when it comes to teaching as well as give a free PL as a practical exam. He will available to coach at his high school after receiving this rank
Student Coach- Very hard: In addition to the Assistant Coach, he will have to undergo outreach training as well as public relations & marketing. He will also begin to undergo testing as to managing a fencing club when it comes to internal politics & different personalities of coaches & students.
Coach- Nigh Impossible: The outreach, PR, & marketing are now paramount to this fencer's instruction. They will be tested on theory that even I have trouble grasping at times and their exam will be filled with questions that have no right answer, only damage control. In a pinch, anyone with this rank can substitute one of the head coaches if they are sick or away @ tournaments (thereby facilitating a permanent Saturday), and not bat an eye if someone new comes to the club asking questions. This will likely require a separate course entirely if not done on an individual basis.
Head Coach- Fairly easy by comparison: After 6 years, this test will likely be a breeze as the student in question has already passed as a Coach for 3 years or more at this point. I just wanted the road to this rank to be as comprehensive, rocky, and challenging as possible so that we end up training people who do not replace Chris, Kole, & I, but are better trained, better schooled on the environment, & improve upon our original design. Their role is fairly self explanatory.


This system is preliminary and was posted here to garner feedback. It will also likely be posted on the club's facebook page for more feedback. As for now, testing fees outside of paying for the patch are unlikely. This ranking system was concocted by me because it has become apparent that many parents want a ranking system outside of the USFA one, as those rankings seem incredibly hard to come by. Also, if I was to deal with a ranking system I would rather the system be one that I built rather than someone else. I'm not going to make these ranks much easier to obtain, as any rank should be earned, not given.