Why Can't We Be Friends?

Whenever you move to a new location your connection to your friends is invariably weakened. You and your old friends have a different response to this change in interaction. Technology helps in many ways to keep us together but also has a diminishing effect on our day to day interactions. I've found that speaking to another human's face is a different experience than texting with them. The older I get the more I learn about our interactions.

First, I live in a foreign country. I love it in Korea despite the obstacles in learning a new language. Despite what Koreans tell you, learning the language is not easy, at least for me. In their defense I have only recently taken any measures to learn how to speak. My reading and writing ability is significantly higher, but even then it is woefully pathetic how bad I am at it. This barrier can be daunting as it limits your interaction with the other humans around you. It fundamentally alienates you. Coping with it can be difficult, but it still fits firmly in the realm of a first world problem.

What I enjoy most about this experience is the mirror effect. People watching in this country is my favorite past time. The homeless man trying to look mutilated who's pushing a stereo down the street. The man/woman dressed to the 9s. The tourist. The grandmother. The barista. The foreigner who's high off of some successful cultural experience who wears an expression of absolute disdain as I walk by. The foreigner who just got here and is scared shitless at the immensity of this place. The hiker. All of them bring me back to earth, slap me in the existential face and remind me to just relax. I have the privilege to be employed in this awesome country of limitless possibilities. I am hindered by fear, motivation, and language skills.

Strangely, the hobbies that I took so much pleasure from as a kid are the ones that have given me the best opportunities and friends in Korea. All I had to do was look up tabletop gaming groups in Seoul, and I made 4 good friends. If I extend that to playing Magic, it extends even further to include 5-6 others that I hope to get to know much better next year when I'm living in the city proper. The hilarious irony is that the hobbies that used to isolate me are now my strongest networking tool.