Dear Minnesota, You are Going to Hate This.

Normally I am not this negative. I am a by and large happy person who enjoys the company of other humans & this post does not summarize everyone I know out here, but is merely a reflection of the medium culture that I see. This is a venting post. You have been warned.

This place is hilariously stagnant. Their is an attitude that this place is home to so many people & that the rest of the world is this inhospitable land that can only be visited during your PTO. There is a magical age during someone's development that if they fail to leave home, they never will. They develop a fear of the outside world that forever taints and halts their development as a person. They become half of a person. A halfling. A HOBBIT. Trivial happenings from childhood become traumatic historical events that guide how you live your life. They trap you and leave you with no options in life, enslaving you to being a teenager forever.

Travel is only considered good as long as you 'come home to the midwest buyahousestartafamilythenquicklyforgetwhyyouloveyourwifewatchfootball.' This is not a jab at people who have families, this is a criticism of people who refuse to think about anything at all. I want everyone to have something in their lives that they are passionate about, or love to death (excluding television). Do not listen to your family when they are pressuring you into procreating when you feel like you have serious reservations about it. You have many choices in life that your family would not like to see you do. It isn't because they want to see you unhappy, it is because they worry. Or it is because they don't agree with your lifestyle and desperately want to see it fail so they can be vindicated in their decision to be depressed for the last 30 years. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

The hardest part about dealing with my family & friends is that nobody is really interested in trying to solve their problems. These glaring errors become 'character traits' in their eyes. The idea that a problem is easier solved by being ignored has taken a firm hold. Shortcuts are the way of the day and they never work. What I failed to learn from Minnesota as a kid was that 'Direct Confrontation' of a problem was the easiest way to exacerbate it, At least among shirefolk. We have to dilly-dally around, play politics, use sensitive speech, & show a whole lot of false empathy toward someone with a huge problem. Oh, and of course the problem never gets solved this way, only made worse. Now the person with the problem feels like they are justified in keeping the problem as their own private possession. But at least no one was offended! My goodness! What would happen if someone was offended? They would have to think about their behavior and perhaps fix it accordingly!.... Nah, I'm just kidding. If you try to talk to someone about a problem directly and try to help them solve it they just get mad at you. Minnesotans LIKE having problems with no solution. It enhances their personality and makes you think they are complicated people. Which they aren't.

I have met so many people in the shire who do nothing but watch TV the moment they come home from work. Nerds who used to have a vibrant imagination & creative drive who, due to the social alienation present these days, do nothing but play Call of Duty all day. I know why you do it, I'm sitting in front of a screen myself right now. Nerds have always been a hard lot to make friends with, and with all the time it takes to make new nerd friends it is no wonder we have all turned primarily to video games.

I don't care what it is. You can be fascist for all I care, just love what you do. And please, just use your head once and a while & ask yourself 'Do I REALLY have to do what everyone else is doing?' If you decide that you enjoy what everyone else is doing, then awesome! At least the question was asked and you gave it some thought.

Perhaps your family and friends will be upset at you for leaving them to go on your own journey. In that case you have a choice, stay in the shire & get high and fat, or go throw a ring into Mount Doom.

Ahhh, I feel so much better writing this aloud. Thank you internet for allowing me a cathartic complaint.

To quote the original badass hobbit: I think I'm quite ready for another adventure.